I recently heard someone reference a quote that went something like:
"Hard things don't become easy things; we become better at doing hard things."
I would propose that this has become a truth in my life this last week and some. When our little nina was first born, Daddy-O was heading south of the equator for just over 2 weeks. I, of course, called my mother and invited myself to stay with my parents for those 2 weeks. Life was good.
Now, with the addition of our large nino (18 1/2 lbs at 4 months), Daddy-O heads 6 time zones east for 14 complete days. And although the thought of making a highly similar call to my folks occurred, I decided it would be best to ride it out- and how! I have learned that I can do hard things, and become better at it as I do!
Luckily, I have had some help from friends and family to stay on top of my game including dinner, fun outings, and phone calls- thanks to all!
I feel like I really have tried to make the most of this time. I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish while Daddy-O was away (finishing projects, decluttering, super cleaning, etc). Most of these have not even come close to happening, but I've rolled with the punches and have even had some great adventures and learning along the way. Key moments and things I am proud of include:
*Talking with a long-time friend, and having her steer me to watching Arrested Development on hulu- THANK YOU- so funny!
*Having a great Memorial Day cook-out with friends and neighbors.
*Fun outings to the local children's museum, beautiful botanical gardens, and even a super fun indoor jungle gym with neighbors, (thanks ya-ya). And, if it's not raining, we'll hit the local petting zoo tomorrow.
*Being more aware of what I'm eating- result- loosing 4 lbs already! (What was I eating before I ask?)
*Yet still preparing a dinner each night even if it is left overs, (more of those around this week). Making sure to end each dinner with sharing a mini- ice cream sandwich with the nina.
*Finding a way to listen in on monthly book group via gmail phone chat, since I couldn't attend (short story by Orson Scott Card...very interesting and thought provoking.)
*Dishes have been done each night before I sleep and kids have been bathed regularly (which doesn't even happen when 2 parents are in the house!)
*Aften watching at least 8 episodes of Arrested Development in total (not in one sitting mind you), listening in on a podcast about creativity, that was quite inspiring. No laughs, but uplifting and thought provoking. Gotta have balance, eh?
Lest you be deceived by what sounds like prideful self-praise, I have also heard from the mouth of the babe many choice phrases such as , "Oh crap!" (which I know she heard from me only moments before). I'm sure my blood pressure has also been permantently raised at least a few points over the last week and a half from all the clenching of teeth and shaking of fists, and spurts of, "Bbbrrraaahhh!"
Also, the last few nights we have talked about the story of the prodigal son for our scripture story. Many times it ends with the two of us saying,
Mom: "So, it's important for us to love our family and say that we are sorry- I'm sorry I wasn't nice to you today- I will try really hard not to yell at you and be nice to you."
Nina: "I'll try to be nice and not hit you with my head, or bonk the baby."
Luckily, we have been able talk to Daddy-O almost every day for 10 minutes or so. Many of those conversations end in, "We are really excited for you to come home!", and we are. I feel stretched and like I have grown, but I'm ready for a good long night of sleep and a big hug.
So, is this a truth in your life too- growing to do hard things?
6 comments:
Great post. You are another supermom that I am proud to call a friend. I am still learning that I can do hard things--everyday presents itself with hard things--lately it's being patient with the kids and just enjoying being a mom--a mom to a child who is still a mystery and a son who is a destroyer. Keep up the great work, Alexis!
Alexis, your amazing! I hope if Derek ever leaves me that long I would be as positive as you. I have had so much fun with you this week. Thinking about the zoo today...hmm...maybe I'll give you a call. Sounds fun!
You are AWESOME! What is that google phone thing you mentioned? Way to go losing pounds--whenever Brian is gone I eat everything that's not nailed down. I hope J is doing something really like REALLY nice for you since you spent 14 days as a single mom while he was gallivanting around Paris!
Don't put yourself down. I personally think you're a great mom. I know things can get hairy when one parent is away. Just do the best you can. I helped raise J and J. We would get them every other weekend. There were times that A worked the weekends at Chili's that we had J and J and I would find things to do with them. It was a little hard, but I managed. When L came along, I too felt like I had to be supermom, taking care of her and her brothers on the weekends when we got them. During the week when I didn't have her brothers, I tried the best I could after working all day and then picking her up at day care coming home, putting her in her playpen, while I was getting her dinner ready. It was a little hard when A worked the night shift. When A started working for the company he is working for now, he would go away on business trips and it was a little hard, but I managed. As I said, just do the best you can. Yes, mistakes will be made along the way. Remember, you're only human and C right now is just testing your patience. Parenting is all trial and error. Go with the flow.
Yeah that Jason is home now!! Nice job while he was gone.
Way to roll with the punches. I can't believe you have had an actual dinner every night. We don't even do that when Dave is IN town. And HOORAY that you love Arrested Development! It's one of the core humor parts of our marriage. I love it, and feel a sense of pride that you love it too. :)
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